Bring Me to Life
by NATFreak
Summary: For my Silver Cheetah on her birthday. This one shot delves deeper into her mind as one gets to see Rose from her point of view, instead of mine, for once. Based off the hit song Bring Me to Life by Evanescence. Lose.


Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men; however I do own Rose and Henry.

**A/N: For my Silver Cheetah on her birthday. This one shot is based off the song Bring Me to Life by Evanescence which I believe describes Rose before she arrives at the Institute extremely well, so enjoy! Happy Birthday Rose! Here goes! **

"Mommy." A familiar voice called by my right ear making me groan as I twisted onto my left side, burying my face into Logan's chest who was, as usual, sound asleep. "Mommy. It's morning. Time to wake up. Mommy?"

I know what you're thinking, what kind of mother ignores her child? But, in my defense, it was 4:30 IN THE MORNING. The sun was barely up and he just kept repeating himself over and over again. 'Mommy, it's time to wake up. Mommy, it's morning. Mommy, it's time to wake up. Mommy, Mommy.' On and on, one only had so much patience so early in the morning. It was better to just ignore and pretend you were asleep, like his father was pretending to be.

"Mommy!" Henry crawled up on to the bed beside me, his voice growing steadily louder. "Mommy!"

"Yer son's calling ya, Goldilocks." Logan murmured, eyes closed.

"This early in the morning, he's your son." I murmured back, feeling his chest rumble under my left ear with laughter.

"Mommy!" Henry called again.

I sighed and sat up, my hair falling to one side in a tangled mess of golden curls as Hen smiled triumphantly. Damn it all. He was too cute, even for a 5 and a half year old with my blood. But, it **was** 4:30 A.M. and a pregnant woman, yes, I'm two months pregnant, needed her sleep.

"Hen, sweetheart, what are you doing up so early? You should still be in bed." I told him, making him pout. Damn Kitty for showing him her famous puppy dog pout.

"Ya know," Logan sat up behind me, resting his chin on my left shoulder. "yer not gonna win."

"Do I ever?" I whispered back.

Logan smirked. "He's too much like ya, ya know that right?"

I knew he was teasing, but I still couldn't help grimacing as my thoughts turned inwards. For Hen's sake, I hope he **wasn't** a lot like me, well, the old me anyway, back when I was with Magneto.

I know, what I did back then was not my fault. I wasn't in control of my actions, blah blah blah. That's what everyone tells me anyway, still doesn't make me feel any better. The truth of the matter is I was weak, not physically, but internally. If I had had a stronger will, then Magneto would not have been able to control me so easily. I would not have the blood of people, so many I lost count, on my hands. Blood that, no matter what I do, I will never be able to get rid of.

Have you ever felt like you were a puppet whose life was being orchestrated by someone else pulling your strings? Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a bad dream where you have no will of your own and you're just waiting for someone to wake you up, to bring you to life?

Have you ever felt so numb, so cold, that your very blood is frozen and you're just begging for someone to come and end the pain? Have you ever felt like you're living in an everlasting cycle and that death is the only escape?

That is how I felt the first 33 years of my life, first when I lived with my parents in Oregon until I was thirteen and then when I lived with Magneto as his damn puppet assassin. I had no will of my own, I killed whoever he wanted me to kill, whenever he wanted me to kill them. He made me do whatever he wanted by manipulating a chip he had put in my head.

My parents were my first victims. Don't get me wrong, they made my life a living hell when I was a child, but that didn't mean I wanted to kill them with my own hands. Even when he had me kill, I felt numb as if I was witnessing the event outside of my body. Regardless, I killed those people and to what end? So that he could hone my skills and use them for his own purposes? Was that to be my purpose in life? Was that all I was meant to be? A soulless puppet assassin?

For twenty years, I believed that was all I was meant to be. I felt as if my life had come to a standstill. I wanted to die. I felt as if I was trapped and that death was the only escape, that there was nothing left for me in this world. I know, pathetic. Looking back on it now, I would agree with you for if I had died back then, I wouldn't have what I have now: a family.

I smiled coming back out of my reverie. Reality, after all, is better than any dream.

"Hen," Devil-horns was saying, making our son look at him curiously. "you remember what day it is today, right?"

Henry cocked his head to the side in thought for a moment then broke out in a huge smile. "Oh yeah! Happy Birthday Mommy!"

Oh, that's right. Today's my birthday.

I held my arms out to him and held him close. "Thank you Hen."

"You're welcome, Mommy." He replied as I loosened my grip a little, allowing him to sit more easily in my lap.

"And thank you." I whispered to Logan, turning my head to kiss him. "Who says you can't be romantic?"

"Ha ha, you're hilarious." He murmured. "Happy Birthday Goldilocks."

"Thanks." I smiled as he pulled me back against the pillows, taking Henry along with us as a result.

Yes, life couldn't be better. I'm a 39 year old woman with a great husband, a beautiful son, and I was two months pregnant with our second child. In all honesty, I wouldn't mind a girl, but I'll love it no matter what. I also wouldn't mind giving birth like a normal person, unlike last time, which is wishful thinking I know since I am anything but normal, still it would be nice.

Speaking of being pregnant, "Hen, Mommy has to go to the bathroom. Hen?"

Henry did not reply. He was fast asleep. So was his dad. Go figure.

I sighed, shaking my head which only made me feel more nauseous. I gently scooted Henry over and got off the bed, sprinting for the bathroom. I barely made it in time. Yep, just another day in paradise.

I stood in the bathroom doorway after I was done, staring at my two men sleeping soundly together on the bed. The two men who had shown me that life was worth living, the two men who helped me find my inner strength, the ones who saw the real me, and, most importantly, the ones who had brought me to life. Essentially, the two men who made me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. Yes, it was a very happy birthday indeed.

**A/N: Hope you liked it! Happy Birthday Rose! To all my fellow Americans, Happy Thanksgiving! Til next time! Read, review, and show the love! **


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